1) Auntie Bob DVD's: 100% Guaranteed
Auntie Bob Guarantees his DVD's, to be 100% defect free, on the slim chance you get a bad one contact me and I will get you info. about getting it returned, and replaced. Please be aware replacements will be made with the identical DVD only.
2)
Sex
Toys, Lube and Condoms:
Sex
Toys, Lube and Condoms can not be returned under any circumstances due
to the intimate nature of the products themselves. So, please pay attention
to what you order, once we ship it. You Own It, Period! Sex Toys are sold
as novelty items only and the purchaser assumes all risk of use!
3) The Sex Machine: "The Sex Machine" carries a One Year Warranty, that is provided by the manufacturer, If you need warranty service contact me & I will provide you the info to get your product serviced. All warranty work is provided directly by the manufacturer.
I use a company called pennywize, when you log in, it looks at your ip address and user name, then it looks to see if anyone else is logged in using your user name. It also looks for multiple ip addresses on your user name. What does that mean in english?
Could be a couple of things, the first one is you gave your username and password to someone else..and...damn it!.... your busted!
Way more often it is simply pennywize misinterpreting the multiple ip addresses you are using, as multiple people trying to log into your account. This is nothing to do with your computer and there is nothing wrong with it, it's simply the way your isp is configuring your connection to the internet. Most of the time of the time this happens to folks that are using AOL DSL, and a couple of other companies, its totally random, and you might be fine 99% of the time then one day you get that one circuit that is configured weirdly, and bam....the dreaded pennywize screen!
If it happens to you just drop me an email and I'll get you fixed up, its about a 30 second fix on my end and you shouldn't have the problem again :)
BTW, this applies only to the member area of the website. I use pennywize in relation to DVD downloads as well and if you saw the pennywize screen in relation to your DVD download, its a different thing entirely. Check out the DVD download FAQs
A DVD download is a one time charge. The same company that handles my membership transactions is also handling the e-commerce part of the DVD downloads. By default their purchase pages use the term "Membership" and its not something I can change, its just a matter of verbage.
The sales software securely handles the transaction and then forwards you a different piece of software that issues your uber secret random download url... and the password for the actual download you get, they work and play well together and as soon as your transaction is complete you are sent directly to the download page and you have 24 hours to complete your download.
FYI.... the user name and password you create to access your DVD download will not work on Auntie Bob's member area.... damn it!There are only 2 reasons you might be seeing the pennywise page.
1) You gave someone else your url and password. When you buy a DVD download you get assigned just enough download bandwidth to get your DVD, plus a bit extra to allow for the occasional hiccup. So, if you give your super secret uber url to someone else, well your pretty much fucking yourself out of your movie since there isn't much of a chance that Mr pennywize is going decide your the special one and you should get 2x the amount of data needed to compleate your order. Anything over the allotted amount of data and it cuts of the data-stream.
You will get shut out before the download is finished, if you email me and try to convince me it wasn't you, there was some sort of a glitch... "really there was, honest". I will give you the benefit of the doubt until I check the server logs and the pennywize login and data records. If it turns out that there really was the very rare glitch, it is easy enough to tell. I will reset everything, send you a new url and password & you will be good to go.
OR
2) You have not given out your download url to anyone: The problem is being created by your ISP. Pennywize is misinterpreting the multiple ip addresses you are using, as more than one person trying to log into your account. This has nothing to do with your computer and there is nothing wrong with it, it's simply the way your isp is configuring your connection to the internet. Most of the time of the time this happens to folks that are using AOL DSL, and a couple of other companies, its totally random, and you might be fine 99% of the time, then one day you get that one circuit that is configured weirdly, and bam....the dreaded pennywize screen!
If you know that you didnt give your url out, then thats what happened, just drop me an email and I'll get you fixed up, its
about a 30 second fix on my end and you shouldn't have the problem again :)
You might be thinking..hmmmm... I have a friend that might like to download this also, its friendly of you to think of them, but if you do neither of you will get your download. I use a company called pennywize it checks the amount of data you have downloaded in relation to your user name.
How is that relevant? (another excellent question on your part) It is pretty simple math, a DVD download will never be over 4.8 gigs in size. When you buy a DVD download you get assigned just enough download bandwidth to get your DVD plus a bit extra to allow for the occasional hiccup. So, if you give your super secret uber url to someone else, well your pretty much fucking yourself out of your movie cause there isn't much of a chance that Mr pennywize is going decide your the special one and you should get almost 10 gigs of data!
You will get shut out before the download is finished, if you email me and try to convince me it wasn't you, there was some sort of a glitch... really there was, honest. I will give you the benefit of the doubt until I check the server logs and the pennywize login and data records.
When you order a DVD download a web page is quickly created by my uber download management software. That page exists for 24 hours before my uber software locks you out and deletes the page.
Since your zip file password was also created on the fly, and was part of that page if you did not write it down or maybe you lost it, your hosed. At least temporarily, just use the contact link & I can email it to you. The software stores it for a while after its issued & I can dig it out and send it to you via email. Be sure to give me the email address you used when you purchased to download, and your first and last name would also be helpfull :)
Yes you do! When you purchase a DVD download, you create a user name and password for yourself.
Once you are at the download page you will notice another password has been generated on your download page, please copy that down. After the download is compleate you will need the second password to decompress the zip file.